I think I had some prejudiced expectations going in that probably led to my disatisfaction. All I knew was that it was some sort of romantic/drama with vampires in it. I’m thinking, “Oooh, vampires!” However, movie posters showing pretty boy teens hindered my desire to see it; because to me, vampires should be blood sucking monsters like in 30 Days of Night. These are definitely not your typical vampires. I can understand that the pretty ones are in fact “good” vampires that feed on the blood of animals rather than humans, therefore depicting them as young, attractive humans makes sense. But come on… they freakin’ sparkle in the sunlight? I am not down with that, both as a man and as a fan of the old school vampires.

The acting… I wouldn’t say was atrocious, but more grating than anything. I’m not sure if it was the delivery or the lines, but a lot of the romantic scenes were a bit too cliche for my tastes.

Edward Cullen, the main pretty boy vampire, (played by actor Robert Patterson, better recognized as the immortal Cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter films), was bearable. The first third of the movie he was so stand-offish… his emo-like stares almost made me want to laugh hysterically. It was like he tried really really hard to perfect the stare that it seemed like it was supposed to be a joke.

The action sequences were nice, but the final fight between Edward and the “bad” vampire James seemed waaaaay too short and anti-climactic. When I see a movie with vampires, I expect some level of blood, gore, and violence. This film seemed way too censored… but again, I guess it needed to be to keep to its wimpy romance theme.

I discussed my criticisms with my friend today. She says that a lot was cut from the book and that I should read it before judging the movie so harshly. I probably will give the book a chance. It has a few interesting characters I want to learn more about. And she says the series is just as engaging as Harry Potter. And I likes my Potter books.

So, for now, I shall have to rate this movie 3/10. It gained points with a few characters that have real potential. I’m probably being way too generous.

Oh yeah, best line in the movie? “Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin,” said by Edward describing his infatuation for the blood of Bella, the human girl he falls in love for. Almost wanted to get up and leave after that one.

Cool vampires don’t smile.

No, they aren’t putting on a play for them.

We were like 15 minutes late, but I’m sure we didn’t miss anything critical. We got right in where Liv Tyler is taking off her panties before being rudely interrupted by a knock on the door. She and her boyfriend (played by Scott Speedman, who seemed strangely familiar to me and then I found out that he played Ben from Felicity) answer the door to find a young woman asking, in a very creepy way, for someone who obviously didn’t live at the house. They shoo her away, the guy leaves to buy some cigarettes, and then the fun begins.

The Strangers is best summed up as being about a young couple being terrified by three lunatics in masks. And man… those masks are really fucking creepy. They’re great, because there are some awesome moments where they just slowly walk forward from the darkness or around the corner and you are completely spooked. The first time we see The Man in the Mask… DAMN! One of the best scary moments ever. Liv Tyler is just having a glass of water in the kitchen, and behind her in the background the dude just appears (all fuzzy and out of focus due to the perspective) and just stands there and watches her. FUCKING CREEPY.

OK, I am not totally in love with the movie; it has it’s horror cliche moments, but it was effective in making me (and especially my little cousin) squirm in my seat. Plotwise, it worked for me because all I cared about was getting scared. I didn’t want to learn the backstories of the characters and what motivates them. I mean really, the boyfriend puts it exactly how it should be when asked why they’re terrorizing them: “They don’t need a reason when they come through that door.” There are plenty of points in the film that get really tense, and I’m just waiting for the obligatory “jump in your face” moment. It rarely does that, but my expectations for it helped me get my tension up.

I think they did a good job with the music and sound. It doesn’t use an overpowering score, or those big sharp, sudden strings at the scare moments. Actually, the silent scenes are pretty crazy and all you hear are the taunting and intimidating sounds of the masked assailants banging on the walls, heavily breathing, and creepily making footsteps. And, personally, I liked the effect of the old fashioned music playing on the record player in one scene.

The movie also had its parts where it got me thinking, “God, no wonder they are in this shit, they are just fucking stupid.” There’s a point in the movie when a friend comes down to the remote house. He’s leaving a message for the couple on his cell phone when BAM! His windshield is shattered by what I think was a rock. So, I’m like, “RED FLAG.” Then like a dumbass, he proceeds to walk to the house and sees his friends’ car completely WRECKED (which was totalled by the psychos to prevent them from leaving). I’m all like, “HELLO?! Call the fucking police, dumbass!” But nooooo… he keeps going and WALKS INTO THE FUCKING HOUSE, which is now a complete mess and any sane person can tell there was an attack there. I’ll leave it to you to find out what happens to him.

As for the ending… hm. Big spoiler alert, so stop reading if you are thinking about watching the movie and don’t want to know what happens to the couple. Ok, here it comes… I like how the attackers just take off their masks, their faces not completely shown, and proceed to stab the tied up couple to death. It isn’t gory, just how’s I likes it cuz I HATES torture films, but you can definitely feel the impact of the murders. And then the killers just drive away, one of them saying, “Next time, it will be easier.” And then the END, end… two young Mormon boys come into the house and find the massacre, one of them reaches out to the bled out Tyler, and then she suddenly reaches out and screams straight at the audience and then the fade to black. I could have done without that one. It seemed kind of put in there for a scare you at the last minute when it didn’t need to.

So… I thought it was so-so. I was entertained, both because I just love going to the movies and I got scared when I wanted too, but it’s not one of those “Wow. I am completely impressed by all aspects of it” movies. Probably would rate it a 6/10. If you want a good scare, check it out, but don’t expect something deep or dramatic.

And yeah, the power still wasn’t back on when we got back home afterward. I just read some comics by flashlight until it did… about two hours later.

The last human on earth… that must suck really hard.

The basic premise for I Am Legend is that the main character, Robert Neville, (played by one of my favorite actors, Will Smith) is supposed to be the last human on earth. A virus was engineered three years previously to be the hailed cure for cancer. However, it becomes air-born and kills 90% of people on the planet. Fewer than one percent are immune, and the remaining are mutated… but more on those later. Neville is unaffected by the virus and we are thrown immediately into the picture where he survives all alone.

The first third of the movie probably intrigued me the most. We follow Neville and his dog companion, Sam, as they live day to day in deserted New York City. The sight of the city is amazing… to see such a bustling city dilapidated and empty. Seeing how he pretty much has access to anything everything in the city, from food and firearms to sports cars and gasoline, made me think at first that it might be cool to just do anything you wanted; but then I realized being the only human being on the planet must take its toll. In fact, I was almost reminded of Cast Away… just as Tom Hanks’ character was isolated on the island but had to be resourceful to survive, Neville was pretty much isolated, alone on the planet and still had to adapt to live. Neville even went as far as to create ‘people’ out of mannequins and pretending that they are alive, talking and interacting with them. Exploring that part of the story was pretty much the high point for me.

But then we are introduced to the living infected. I admit that first seeing the hive in the dark was pretty intense, but I soon felt that they weren’t that vicious. I think it was the fact that they were computer generated… I thought at first they were like zombies, but they don’t decay, rather they are vulnerable to the sunlight. I guess they are like a zombie-vampire hybrid. Interesting concept, but I think that they could have taken it a bit further in the horror element.

The movie, I think, takes an immediate nose-dive when Anna and Ethan are introduced. I loved the concept of “the last man on earth,” and the point when the possibility of more humans being alive kind of kills it. I admit, it’s interesting to see Neville’s reaction to first human contact in what might have been years, but I’d like to explore the setting of last remaining human more. Hopefully another movie could do that… maybe be a bit more gritty and dim. I Am Legend ends with a bit of hope: humanity will rebuild and come back from the brink of extinction with the cure to the virus discovered by Neville. And I can appreciate that kind of ending with the kind of drama that goes throughout the whole film, but I’d like to see something along the lines of a Dawn of the Dead type of movie where the apocalyptic life doesn’t have a ray of hope for a happy ending but rather just continues to strive to survive.

And as a side-note, the movie is set in the future, and the studio must have seen it fit to tease me with appearances in the film by a billboard of a Batman-Superman movie and a poster of a Teen Titans movie. Rumors were abound that Warner Bros. had contemplated a Batman-Superman team up film, but I think they are now exploring a Justice League film. It’d be totally awesome to have the Christian Bale and Brandon Routh reprise their roles together… it would really feel like a real team-up. The billboard looked awesome though, like they put a lot of thought and work into it…

Some minor things too to mention:
- What’s up with the vinegar? I don’t think they explained why he pours it on his jacket and on the doorsteps to his home. Maybe I missed it…
- Sooo… did his family die in the helicopter? They cut away before I could see…
- The whole Shrek scene… pretty cool. I like Shrek, too.
- Seriously, why didn’t that girl just say hello back to him?! God!

So overall, I enjoyed I Am Legend. Chalk up another favorite film featuring Will Smith. It has some really great scenes, but I think the concept that drew me in originally was spoiled. I’d see it again probably. I’d definitely get it on DVD. 8 out of 10.

Yep. I think I’ll still love it. That scene totally reminds me of the ballroom dance in BatB.

EDIT: The soundtrack is awesome!
[audio:http://www.ionburn.com/audio/jonmclaughlin_soclose.mp3]

Watchmen is one serious comic book. Yes, it does have superheroes, but the setting and story is just so grim and depressing at times. This is not a comic book I’d think any kid would like to read. I won’t go into any details of the plot and characters. Instead, I’ll just say: Go read it. Pick it up at the bookstore and read it. I seriously, seriously, SERIOUSLY recommend it. Give it a chance. It is not like your garden variety Spider-Man, Superman, or even Batman stories.

I finally visited the official site and saw some of the production photos. I am totally blown away by what they have so far. It really does look like it’s straight from the comic book. I’m getting really excited about it now. I’m not familiar with the people they casted, but I trust that they made some good choices. And I am really psyched to hear that they’ll be filming the Mars scene. I hope they do a good job on the Doctor Manhattan/Silk Spectre II scene… the dialog from that scene is one of my favorite parts:

OK, I felt a little weird at first going in… I mean it totally seems like a little girly film about princesses… well I totally wanted to give it a chance not only because of James Marsden, but also for Alan Menken. He composed the songs for the film, but some of his other works include The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and Newsies. Never heard of Newsies? OMG. Get outta here… it’s another awesome film… with Christian Bale in it… he’s so young in it… and he’s singing and dancing! Watch that one if you can… gah, I feel like getting that one on DVD right now actually… The music in Enchanted actually reminds me of the classic Disney movies… I might as well pick up the soundtrack too… the songs are totally stuck in my head! A lot of songs are these days…

ANYWAY. Let’s talk about the film.

NYC is just as magical as any kingdom far, far away, right?

I’ll try not to spoil it, but what is there really to spoil? It starts out in the animated land of Andalasia, and the main character, Giselle (played by the beautiful Amy Adams—more on her later), is singing and dreaming about her prince charming to the animals, which beckon to her call and pretty much dresses her up, Cinderella-style. An ogre comes to try and eat her, but Prince Edward (played by CYCLOPS) comes to rescue her… so they finally meet, for like 5 minutes, and it’s decided that they’ll marry the very next day.

Yeah, how crazy huh? Well soon, the Prince’s step-mother, Queen Narissa, played by Susan Sarandon, has Giselle thrown down a magical fountain in order to remain queen saying that she’ll be in a land where “there are no happy endings”—HOW TOTALLY EVIL OF HER. Giselle appears out of a sewer manhole and voila! She’s in the real world, modern New York City to be more precise. And, oh my gosh, Amy Adams totally nails her role as a sweet, naive princess straight out of a fairy tale. She is so beautiful in this movie… I am totally ::SWOONED:: by her looks as well as her singing. I hadn’t heard about her before, but this role should, and will, put her on the map. Also after looking her up on Wikipedia, it turns out that I have seen her before: in Catch Me If You Can (she was so cute in that one, I love this movie too) and The Office as the purse girl that Jim dated for a while. ::sigh:: Oh, Amy Adams, you take my breath away…

Back to the story, Giselle wanders NYC hopelessly until divorce lawyer, Robert Philip (played by Patrick Dempsey), comes along and helps her, despite his worry that she might be a little crazy and the fact that he’s about to propose marriage. What follows after that is some awesome, hilarious, romantic, and enjoyable scenes that include rodents and insects cleaning an apartment, a full blown out song and dance in Central Park, comedy relief provided by Nathaniel (played by Peter Pettigrew, I mean, Timothy Spall), and a great “damsel-in-distress” scene in the end. And I put that in quotes because it’s totally not what you think.

I am totally impressed by this movie. It is still a great princess film that I would totally take my daughter(s) to—should I ever have any. However, it pokes a lot of fun at the fantasy worlds of fairy tales. Real life is so cynical and melodramatic. We are all like Robert in the beginning of the film: we don’t believe in happily, ever, after. He is a divorce lawyer after all. Robert is totally taken aback by Giselle’s innocence and belief in one, true love. And it’s great. In contrast, Giselle learns there’s more to love than being saved by prince charming—she doesn’t even know what a date is! But the ballroom scene, when the two dance… awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww… my heart was aflutter! HEHEHEHEHE

And yeah, the ending is your typical, happily, ever, after, but so what? I love those, too. If I was in the mood for a totally depressing ending, I’d pop in Requeim For a Dream. While I’m still more mature about the world, I still like to believe in big romances and love. One, true love? I don’t know yet. If you know, you know, right? I can only hope it’s anything like it is in the movie.

And I would totally recommend Enchanted. While marketed a bit for the younger crowd, it has plenty of jokes and plot that people my age can enjoy. And if you grew up loving Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, and even Cinderella, I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend it. I would TOTALLY see it again.

10 out of 10. Yeah, seriously. I am fresh from the movie; it might change if I see it again, but the film has totally uplifted my mood right now.

I really had been meaning to pick this movie up on DVD. I actually enjoyed it, despite its many criticisms given by the public. I hadn’t seen it since like before high school… so that’s like over 8 years ago. I also had the soundtrack, which I think totally rocks. Too bad it’s been scratched up to oblivion. I wish I had another copy…

ANYWAY. For those who don’t know, The Cable Guy is basically about one unfortunate fellow named Steven Kovacs (played by Matthew Broderick) who pays for illegal cable installed by the cable guy, Chip Douglas (Jim Carrey). Chip interprets this whole interaction as the beginning of a close, tight friendship and from then on tries to insert himself directly into Steven’s life. I totally love Jim Carrey’s really dark role in this movie. He starts off innocently enough as just some lonely schmuck who just wants to hang out. But soon he goes into full stalker mode; and we get some of the craziest scenes I’ve ever seen Carrey do. Some of my choice ones are: Chip and Steven battling it out in a Medieval Times, Chip slam dunking off of Jack Black’s back and shattering the board, Chip playing porno password with Steven and his mom, and Chip beating up Steven’s girlfriend’s date (played by Owen Wilson) in the men’s room.

Chip’s character clearly has to be insane. First of all, his name isn’t really Chip, but he uses various names of popular television characters. And while at first he might seem like he has the hook up (at the beginning, he seems cool for giving Steven good relationship advice, hooking him up with a very expensive media entertainment center, and all around just trying to have fun); but as soon as Steven strongly pushes him away, Chip quickly turns the tables and has Steven fired from his job, arrested for theft (the media center turned out to be stolen), and alienated from his family. Just goes to show the extremities one can go to in a situation where one will spoil you rotten for your attention to totally ruining your life when treated like crap.

And I hadn’t known it all those years ago, but this movie actually features a good handful of cameos from actors that have been pretty hot in recent years including Ben Stiller (who also directed it) and Kyle Gass (the other member of Tenacious D). And one particular thing about the movie that really gets me is that Judd Apatow is tagged as one of the producers (and apparently also wrote some of the scenes in the film). So don’t get me started on how much of a fan I am of him.

Probably THE best scene in the whole movie.

It had me cracking up not only at Carrey’s wild expressions but also at the utter crazy situations that Steven is put in. A lot of the jokes are a bit subtle, and I can’t imagine how I could have picked them up when I was in like 6th grade, but they’re hilarious. So, $5 bucks for a pretty awesome movie. A kick ass deal, if ya ask me.

I walked around, sat and did some people watching. Florida people don’t seem that different than Annapolis people. Lots of shorts and flip flops. Not that many young people though. I guess people my age are located closer to Miami.

I had bought some dvds to watch and as I was walking towards the exit, I decided to check what movies were playing. I had already watched Michael Clayton and We Own the Night there this past week with my parents, so I thought I’d see what else was showing… and if it was going to start within a few minutes I’d go see it. It’s nice to just do whatever the hell I want to without having to worry about anything.

30 Days of Night was what I ended up seeing. I bought a ticket and proceeded to the theater in no rush. I skipped snacks, since I wasn’t hungry at all (although this particular movie place happens to sell funnel cakes). The place was empty (not unexpected on a Thursday early afternoon) save for a few couples spread out here and there. That’s what I usually hate about going to the movies by myself, and that’s why I hardly ever do it. Going to the movies, to me, is a social thing. Something to share with someone(s). I love to watch a movie and then talk about it and discuss reactions with whomever I saw it with. I really wanted to see this movie though (since it’s based on a graphic novel, aka comic book), and I didn’t really have anything else to do. So I took a seat and did my best to ignore the young couple sitting a couple rows in front of me as they leaned their heads in together.

My impressions of 30 Days of Night? Be careful, spoilers ahead. I thought it was actually pretty decent for a vampire movie. The last vampire movie I’ve seen was, I think, Underworld, and really to me vampire films should be more scary than action-y. I hadn’t read the graphic novel yet, so I can’t make comparisons. And for a comic book movie, I thought it was really well done. Although I think the concept of trying to stay alive for 30 days of constant night time could have been better handled. I mean the people trying to survive… how the hell did they do that? The vampires had THIRTY goddamn days to just tear up every building in that podunk town. And then they waited until the last day to burn the place? LAME.

At times though, I tried to make comparisons of vampires to zombies. I love zombie movies. They’re always awesome to watch: the gore, the violence, the human stories. Vampries are, of course, different than zombies. That isn’t to say that there aren’t any similarities. Vampires can turn people into vampires. And they feast on blood (rather than flesh). But then I thought, vampires can definitely be more vicious than zombies. They have intelligence (most zombies in movies run just on instinct). They actually left people alive to use as bait to draw out those in hiding. They also have concepts of self preservation and hunting. Therefore, on those points, I think there should definitely be more vampire movies made along these concepts. Most vampire movies are about the vampires, but I liked 30 Days of Night for the fact that it’s about the humans trying to survive. I think the only hitch is that vampires can come out only during the night. Zombies are 24 hours, 7 days-a-week creatures. This film worked for building tension since the vampires were free to hunt the prey constantly during the long absence of daylight.

And an update on the job front: I’ve gotten responses now from the two companies I interviewed with before I left. Both want to bring me back in to meet with more people, but one actually told me that they intend to make me a job offer. I actually had a good impression of the people I met with there and would definitely love working with them. I guess it depends on the compensation and specific job responsibilities. But all in all, it’s looking good. I told both employers that I’m unavailable for the time being and they are willing to wait for me. So… yeah, I’m excited.

Superbad follows two high school seniors, Evan (played by Michael Cera who was brilliant in the short lived series Arrested Development) and Seth (played by Jonah Hill, a great comedy actor who is quickly gaining momentum), as they attempt to score with some girls that they have interests in by purchasing alcohol for a party one of the girls is throwing. Meanwhile, their geeky friend, Mike Fogell, who attempts to use his fake ID to buy the alcohol ends up having a crazy night of his own when he is spending time with two police officers, attempting to keep up the charade that he’s a twenty-five year old Hawaiian organ donor named simply ‘McLovin.’

The movie turned out to be as hilarious as I expected it to be. It appeals to people whose type of humor appreciates the raunchy dick jokes. But it was also more than just the sexual innuendo and crazy situations that the kids are put in; underlining it was a great story about friendship and coming to terms with new stages in life. While Evan and Seth have been best friends for almost forever, it is tested when Evan is accepted to Dartmouth and Seth has to go to a state university. They promised to go to college together, but now this development threatens to divide them. Near the end of the movie, they also have to deal with relationships and love as well, as they attempt to find what it is they truely want from the girls they admire.

But I have to say, while what happens to Evan and Seth is hilarious, what happens to Fogell, aka McLovin, pretty much stole the show. His scenes were the best as he is thrusted from trying to buy alcohol with a fake ID to being punched in the face, getting in bar fights, playing with breathalizers, and shooting firearms. When he finally reaches the party, I am utterly awed by his transformation from awkward geek to awesome and confident bad ass. He is an inspiration to all awkward high school geeks. lol.

Superbad was a fun movie. I would totally see it again if I had the chance. I might have to go see it by myself, lol. I would recommend it to anyone who appreciates comedies with a more mature theme. Not overtly gross or offending, the jokes may not be appreciated by those of more meek natures. If you can’t laugh at hundreds of detailed drawings of male genitalia, you probably shouldn’t see this movie. ;p But if you do, prepare yourself for some hilarious jokes that I’ve come to expect from the minds of Seth Rogen (writer and star of Knocked Up) and Judd Apatow.

And now for some excellent Judd Apatow goodness:

Wow. This movie is so awesome. I’m a fan of animation, and the production was high quality. I’d have to say the best moments are when the Beast was emoting. His expressions are priceless. The best thing about the film has to be the music of course. It’s got so many wonderful songs that I remember listening to as a kid. And they are just as good as an adult.

There aren’t that many drawn animated films anymore. Not that I don’t appreciate the computer generated ones just as much, but classics like Beauty and the Beast, the Little Mermaid, and the Lion King are testaments to the power of drawn animation. And hell… I’ll admit it. I think the Princess movies are cool. >:P I’m looking very forward to Rapunzel and The Princess and the Frog.

Yep. That’s the good shit.