A long time ago, I found out this girl I went out with had a kid. She had texted me that she was having a birthday party for her son. I texted back that I hope her son has a fun party and haven’t talked to her since. To be honest, I was kind of put off. But now, I’m asking myself, “Why did I instantly not like her when I found out that she has a kid?”

I ran through all kinds of excuses: “I’m not interested in becoming a father.” “I don’t want to be involved with a kid right now.” “The kid will be a major distraction.” “I’m afraid of becoming just some kind of monetary support.” “She must have some issues if she’s no longer with the dad.”

And now, I feel guilty for thinking those things. I had a lot of prejudiced ideas. But really, there’s nothing wrong with a single mother wanting to date. There could be all sorts of circumstances behind there not being a father, and I should really learn more about her and what happened before blowing her off. I need to stop looking for ulterior motives when there aren’t any. And it’s not like we’re looking for something long term here (at least I hope that’s the case). So why not have some fun together?

And who knows… down the line, when I’m ready to have a family, I’m not against marrying someone who already has kids. I’m in a step-family, and it’s been good. I consider them part of my real family. I think it’s horrible what kids go through when parents go through a divorce (been through it myself, but that’s not what I want to get into now). It can be just as hard for them to accept someone else in their lives that might seem like they’re intruding in private territory they have no business being in. But if the step-parent truly loves your mom/dad AND you, then it works. I’m no expert in making step-families a success, and it’s not without its bumps and clashes, but when everyone respects one another, you could be getting some of the best people ever being a part of your life. Why pass on a chance like that?