Thought I’d just pop in and give everyone an update. I’ve been either reluctant or lazy to post anything, but right now I’m up to writing about what’s happening. Well not all of what’s going on, but some of the stuff I’m willing to blab on about. 
I had sort of found myself in a rut in the past month or two. It was due to a combination of things: the job situation, relationships, friendships, money, family, blah blah blah. I guess it all pretty much hinges on the job front though. I had been previously stoked about my interviews; however, I was hit by a flurry of rejections: “Sorry, we don’t have any positions for you at this time.” or “Someone was better qualified for the position.” It doesn’t feel great to hear that you aren’t up to their standards. And then that just kind of bowled me over into a slump where I hardly wanted to get anything accomplished. I felt like I had no self-worth, and that I can’t really move forward in my life without a new job. I hate pity-parties, so don’t feel sorry or whatever. It’s just how I’ve been feeling and nothing could have prevented it.
Yeah, so that made me really upset. All that doubt and depression combined with doing nothing in the house all day drove me kind of crazy. It’s good that I have some friends I could talk to, so that helped a little. But overall, I wasn’t really happy.
However, a couple days ago I had the fortune to fly down to Florida and help work at the storage business my family has down there. I’m really glad I’m here. It’s gotten me out of the house and somewhat busy. I feel recharged and enthusiastic about getting things accomplished. Also, while it’s raining some days, I had a chance to enjoy the beach a couple times… love that sun and sand. 
I’m not sure how long I’ll be here, but I’m glad for the change in my dreary routine.
Oh yeah, and as a side note, I had recently bought a scanner and scanned in a lot of photographs. Check em out here if you’re interested in seeing some random pics.
Also, I hear about all the cold and snowy weather back home… now I’m really glad I’m here. 
February 14, 2008 at 11:31 am
yeah, so lack of jobs really suck. especially if you really need one. i’m glad that i’m out of the house and have roommates that try to keep me from getting into a rut like that, but you know, sometimes you can’t help it. mom always gets on my case, though, how i’ve failed at being independent and wants me to move back home. “we tried to let you have your independence, but as you can see, you aren’t making it work, so you might as well live here.” NOT gonna happen. i’m so glad i got outta there. besides, i haven’t been living there since i was 17, so i feel kind of out of place.
the job thing sucks and i hate it when people are always asking if you’re applying and yadda yadda. well DUH… it’s not fun to get rejected like that and having to whore yourself out on applications. it isn’t easy and is mentally draining, if you ask me. but you know, just try to apply to 5 places a day (i know it sounds like alot, but emailing just isn’t effective enough… calling and showing up in person are always gauranteed a call back… although i’m still waiting to hear back from people…)
but money, family, friends, jobs, yadda yadda… it is draining. mom asks why i’m depressed and she just doesn’t understand. it’d be one thing if i was being supported when i’m told that i would be (nothing but empty promises) but to see someone who can just take vacations and get her nails done and living in the lap of luxury while i can barely afford to feed myself and keep gas in my tank… well… let’s say my psychiatrist sympathizes. i like what i do, but i need another job. if i get this position at the animal hospital here, i’ll be working 12 hour days just to get back to 0 in the bank. i sitll have to pay back the ~$2700 i have in debt to some people.
but if you go with what mom says, you are in a rut because you aren’t trying hard enough and just letting people (dad) walk all over you. you’re a lazy bum and fail at life and should come crawling back home. so enjoy FL while you can, and stay strong, eh?
February 14, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I’m a lazy bum and I fail at life?